i'll dry your tears
by Miisakee
Summary: Sanji wakes on the Thousand Sunny. Luffy is there, like he always is.


The first thing Sanji notices when he opens his eyes is the familiar ceiling of the Thousand Sunny's sick bay.

A sense of absolute relief washes over him and he closes his eyes again. It wasn't a dream. He's on the Thousand Sunny. His friends really did come for him. His wrists are clear of the cold, metal wristlets (even if they weren't really explosive, it doesn't change that they were a constant reminder of what his father was willing to do to him). And Luffy is...

Sanji's eyes open again and he shoots up. _Luffy!_

His memories of what happened before he lost consciousness are vague, blurred. He remembers managing to get away from Big Mom's tea party, remembers running, remembers skidding to a stop around the Seducing Woods and finally taking a moment to breathe.

Then nothing.

Sanji scans the room, his eyes going to the empty chairs next to him, to the empty desk across the room. Where is everyone?

His breath starts to come faster. Chopper wouldn't leave him alone, not if he was unconscious. The crew had had enough trouble dragging him away from patients to sleep in the past for Sanji to know that. Someone else always had to volunteer to take his place until he woke up for him to give in.

Sanji's fingers curl, gripping the sheet as his chest starts to tighten, nausea bubbling in his throat. He's shaking, an icy feeling spreads through his head.

He can't remember what happened, what if they're...?

"Sanji!" Luffy's joyful shout comes from the doorway as the rubber boy grins widely at him. "You're awake! Finally!"

Sanji stares at him. "L-luffy?" he stammers out.

Luffy's grin falters a little. "You okay?" he asks.

Sanji doesn't say anything, just dropping his eyes to the bed and focusing on getting his breathing back under control. Luffy wouldn't be this calm if something had happened, Luffy wouldn't...

A rubbery hand closes around his as the bed creaks. Sanji's head shoots up. Luffy is sitting cross-legged in front of him, frowning.

"What's wrong?" he asks, tilting his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes.

Sanji bites his lip. "Is...is everyone alright?" he manages.

Luffy nods, still frowning. "Yeah. Everyone's fine. Nami made Chopper go to bed. I was gonna stay with you, but then Nami made meat and I wanted some meat. I was gonna be right back, promise, but you weren't awake and they were gonna eat all the meat if I didn't go."

It's such a Luffy thing to say that Sanji chokes on a laugh. "Idiot."

Luffy's eyes widen. "You aren't mad that I went to get meat, right?"

Sanji can't stop himself from rolling his eyes. "You know I'm not."

Luffy grins in relief, before starting to rock back and forth on the bed, absently humming to himself.

Sanji takes a deep breath, feeling pretty stupid now. Panicking just because he was alone, how weak could he be? It didn't even make sense; how could he even get back to Sunny if the others were dead?

"What happened?" he asks, pulling his thoughts away from that particular dark hole. "I remember the Seducing Woods, but nothing beyond that."

Luffy scowls. "Your family sucks," he informs Sanji.

Sanji doesn't say that he already knows that, just shrugs.

"They went all mean on us once we stopped. Your dad attacked you, saying that it was your fault. That you caused the problems with Big Mom. I don't think you thought he was gonna do that, so you didn't get much of a chance to fight back. He knocked you out before we could do anything," Luffy's hat is shadowing his eyes, a sure sign that he's angry. "We kicked their butts. Then we got you back to the Sunny."

Sanji takes a deep breath. They attacked him, no, worse they attacked his friends after they fought to save them.

It's not surprising, but he almost wishes it was.

Sanji grits his teeth. No. He's done hoping they'll get better, done hoping they'll ever want him. He was done with that years ago.

"Chopper was super worried about you, 'cause you were out for ages," Luffy grips his hand tightly. "He said you had all kinds of injuries, more than you should've had from what we saw happen. Like your face," Luffy gestures at Sanji's face. "It's all swollen and stuff. And you've got all sorts of bruises all over, and a few broken ribs. He wasn't sure where they came from."

Sanji knows where those came from. "It's not a big deal," he says instead of explaining.

"It is," Luffy's voice is like iron. His hand tightens almost painfully around Sanji's. "Someone hurt you. And you didn't fight back."

Sanji looks back down at the bed, avoiding Luffy's glare.

Sanji doesn't want to explain his injuries. Luffy doesn't know about the wristlets, what they were for. It wasn't relevant when Sanji explained his situation to him, so he didn't mention it. Telling him now would only upset him more.

"Come on, Sanji. Reiju wouldn't explain either," Luffy complains.

Sanji's head shoots up. "Reiju's here?"

Luffy nods. "Yeah, she helped when your family turned on us. She's super nice. You don't mind if I ask her to join the crew, right?"

Sanji shakes his head. Reiju is the one member of his currently living family that he actually loves. Having her around all the time isn't the worst thing he can think of. Honestly, Sanji's just surprised Luffy actually asked permission to ask her, he never has before.

"Cool!" Luffy's face brightens briefly, before darkening again. "But yeah, she wouldn't explain either. Said you should tell us."

Sanji picks at the sheets on his bed. The idea of explaining how weak he'd been - how much under their control he'd been - was nauseating. After everything Luffy and the others had done to help him, for Luffy to hear how much he'd given up towards the end...

"Sanji," Luffy's voice allows no argument.

Sanji sighs, before starting to explain. He starts with the threat Vito whispered to him, explaining why he'd chosen to leave when he did, before going on to what happened when he first arrived at Germa.

"They told me that the wristlets were explosive," Sanji admits. "That if I tried to leave or get them off, they'd blow my hands off."

Luffy's hat is shadowing his eyes again, his free hand clenching the side of the bed. "You thought they'd blow your hands off," he says. It's not a question.

Sanji flinches. "Yeah. I thought it was true. So did my...Judge. And the others. The only one who knew they weren't real was Reiju, because she was the one who switched them out for fake ones."

"How long?" Luffy's voice is cold, like the ice of the North Blue, brimming with the fury that brought down Arlong Park and declared war on the World Government. "How long did it take for you to find out the truth?"

Sanji takes a deep breath. "It took until not long before I gave you the food," he admits. "Reiju told me when she was in the infirmary, when we found out Big Mom's plans."

"That was why you fought me," Luffy isn't asking.

Sanji nods slightly, looking at Chopper's desk, at the chairs, at the door Franky carved himself, anywhere but at Luffy. "Yeah. That and the other threats I already told you about."

There is a brief silence, before Sanji sighs. Might as well finish the story. He starts again, talking about his meeting with his so-called brothers, about the meal and defending Cosette, about the cloning lab Yonji had shown him, about his fight with Niji.

About the threat to Zeff and having to stop fighting back, about getting pounded into the ground.

Sanji doesn't slow, even as he hears Luffy's teeth grind, unwilling to give Luffy any time to say something. Luffy's angry, but surely he has to be thinking everything Sanji's been thinking, about how weak he is, how useless he is.

Sanji carries on with his story, telling Luffy how much it had hurt to have to fight him, before telling him about breaking down in the carriage. Admitting to the moment of weakness aches in his chest, but Luffy deserves the truth, no matter how much Sanji hates to tell him.

Luffy lets out a pained whine, but Sanji doesn't give him a chance to do anything, rapidly steamrolling on into his bargain with Big Mom, finally giving in and telling Pudding he'd marry her and, finally, overhearing that fateful conversation between Pudding and Reiju.

"She cut out Reiju's memories of it," he says quietly, after reciting everything Pudding had said. "But I told her everything afterwards," he lets out a harsh laugh. "You must think I'm a total idiot. Falling for her act so completely."

"Never," Luffy's voice is hard. "I would never think that. Besides, Nami and me believed her too. We all did. Only Pedro was suspicious." He growls and punches the bed. Sanji flinches and Luffy relaxes his fist. "We shoulda listened to him. He wanted to tie her up, make sure she couldn't mess everything up. Stupid Pudding."

Sanji doesn't agree or disagree. He just leans back against his pillows and stares at the wall.

"You know they're wrong, right?" Luffy says. "Pudding and your family, I mean. The stuff they said about you. You're not weak or useless or any of the stuff they said."

Sanji wants to nod, wants to say that of course he knows they're wrong, but he can't.

After everything, he just can't bring himself to lie to Luffy. Not now.

Instead, he picks at his blanket again and refuses to meet Luffy's eyes.

"Right?" Luffy's voice has darkened. "Sanji?"

Sanji flinches again.

There's silence.

"Sanji," Luffy's voice is choked. Sanji looks up, surprised, to see tears rolling down Luffy's cheeks. "Please tell me you don't believe them. _Please_." The last word has so much emotion, so much pain in it that Sanji physically hurts.

Still, he can't lie to Luffy. Not now. Not even to spare him pain.

Rubbery arms enclose him in a tight hug and Luffy buries his head in Sanji's shoulder, where Sanji can feel a wet patch rapidly growing.

" _Sanji_ ," Luffy's voice is so heartbroken that Sanji shivers. Luffy shouldn't sound like that. Luffy is sunshine and light and bright laughter, hope and warmth and love. He should never sound so sad. Ever. It reminds him of yet another time that Sanji failed him, when he saw his captain's picture in the newpaper and couldn't do anything to ease his pain. The memory makes Sanji wince.

But Sanji still can't lie. Not to Luffy.

He doesn't know how long Luffy cries into his shoulder. He only knows that when Luffy's arms finally retract, he feels their loss like aching hunger in his stomach.

He glares at his hands, waiting for Luffy to speak again. A hand touches his chin, gently pushing his head up so that his eyes meet Luffy's.

And Sanji freezes.

Luffy's eyes are so filled with sadness and anger and, most surprisingly, love that Sanji almost can't breathe.

"You are worth a thousand men," Luffy says firmly. "You are the best cook in the whole world. You are the kindest person I've ever met. You are brave and you are the best friend anyone could ask for. You are not useless or weak. You are the one of the strongest people I've ever met. And," his fingers tighten around Sanji's chin as Sanji tries to look away. "Listen to me, Sanji. We. Love. You."

Each word is punctuated by a pause.

"And that," says Luffy, finally releasing Sanji's chin. "Is why we came all this way and fought a Yonko to save you. Because you're our friend and we love you. Idiot."

Sanji stares at him.

Luffy smiles and raises his hand. Before Sanji knows what's happening, Luffy is bare-headed and Sanji has a well-loved straw hat on his head.

"I know you don't believe me yet," Luffy says, grabbing Sanji's hands to stop him from taking the hat off. "So I'm gonna tell you it over and over and over again, until you do believe it. And you're not gonna take that hat off until you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't believe what they said. Got it?"

Sanji doesn't even try to fight the tears falling down his cheeks. "I got it," he chokes out.

Luffy grins widely and hugs him tightly. "Great!"

He releases Sanji and jumps to his feet. "Come on, Sanji! Now you're awake, you can make me meat! Meat!"

He runs energetically from the room, still yelling 'Meat!' at the top of his considerable lungs.

Sanji rolls his eyes as Chopper's voice joins Luffy's, yelling at him for trying to get Sanji to cook already and all of the others tumble into the room, rapidly followed by Chopper and a vibrating Luffy.

Nami drops down next to him and glares. Even her glare is beautiful. "If you ever do that again, I won't forgive you," she snaps at him.

Sanji smiles at her. "I won't, Nami-san," he says, softly.

Nami tilts her head, before she smiles too and hugs him. "I missed you, Sanji-kun," she whispers in his ear before the others grow too impatient to wait.

Carrot jumps at him and hugs him tightly, before backing away as Chopper starts to fret over his injuries, scolding Luffy for not telling him as soon as Sanji woke up. Brook comes to his other side and sits on the chair next to him. Sanji's pretty sure that if he could, he'd be smiling rather like the indulgent grandfather that he truly is inside. Even Jinbe stands at the end of his bed and smiles warmly at him.

And, in the back of the room, Sanji's big sister lurks, watching the gathering through cautious eyes.

Their eyes meet and Sanji smiles at her, holding out his hand. Reiju's eyes widen, before she takes a few hesitant steps forward and clasps it tightly.

Sanji squeezes her hand back, causing a bright smile to spread over his sister's face, before Luffy bounces on the bed and disturbs everyone.

"I want meat," he declares excitedly. Nami punches him, yelling something about how he's already eaten.

To the sound of Luffy whining, Sanji sits back against his pillow, with rough straw against his hair and closes his eyes.

He's home.


End file.
